Now THAT’S a fun title, eh? You’re probably thinking this is going to be an article about how to best serve tenants and staff members in your buildings, right? Well we might do that eventually. For now we’re going to look at the very serious business of how to cast the role of Facilities Manager as a protagonist in a genre film. Because we really like genre films! Enjoy!
In the year 2332, Metrocity 6 (formerly the US East Coast) is housed in a series of enormous hyperbuildings, while the streets are overrun with genetically modified wolf-human hybrids. Each building is several kilometres wide at the base, and extend into the sky for another several kilometres, housing over 4 million people in each massive structure. Building 41 is run by Facilities Chieftain Kane Toledo (Michael Madsen). He is tasked with keeping the systems going and the werewolves at bay, all while trying to impress Building President Blouse Huxley (Bryce Dallas Howard). But is his HVAC engineer actually a werewolf in sheeps clothing??!?
Compliance of the Heart
Hot-shot Facilities Manager Chad Blazer (Chris Pratt) is on the fast track to win this year’s award for best Facilities Manager – but first he has to get past the notorious essential services auditor, Langley Butterfield (Reese Witherspoon). Will they be able to overcome missing fire panel maintenance logbook entries to see that they love each other?!!?!
Hip and cool Facilities Manager Huff Gasoline (James Franco’s brother) is the coolest facilities professional in California County! Between checking out contractors and writing up Loss Prevention Observations, Huff broadcasts his mad radio show to the young teens! Will he ever stop chasing the babes and settle down with Bid Manager Officia Deluxe (Emilia Clarke)??!?
A plucky white blood cell named Sparks (voice of Jon Stewart) runs the day-to-day internal operations of handsome actress Felicity Huffman! With the help of his maintenance manager Mucus (a glob of mucus voiced by Seth Rogen) and some really fantastic work order management software, he makes sure Felicity has enough time to make her auditions AND meet the love of her life.
Beth Collingwood (Mia Wasikowska) has just taken a job at a University to run the Facilities team in their student union building. Everything seems fine, until one day when she’s out checking distribution boards and she finds herself in an abandoned wing of the building with a long abandoned chapel, where someone…or something is playing ghostly organ music…(based on an actual experience that the writer of this article wweeEEeeenNnt throoOOUGh…)